THIS IS ALL SO NEW

I'm celebrating my six months as an entrepreneur. It's the scariest thing I've ever done before including moving from city to city without resource, cash or people. I've literally had the hardest and greatest time, having left behind what I know to create something I know is needed. Beyond needed. But, I need to be so real with you all. If you follow me on Snapchat, you'll know what I'm about to say. It goes against all the advice I've been given, along with the highly-regarded fake it till you make it. 

I have no f*cking idea what I'm doing. 

And, I found when you tell people that, it alleviates the pressure that one another may be feeling and it becomes this, "We're in this together" moment that I thoroughly appreciate. I think I've gotten to the point that I crave that connectedness and no longer want to engage in idle conversation. I notice I'm far more curious in people these days and what's going in their lives. I'm interested in how we're similar and different, how I can support and contribute and what causes we believe in. It's incredible how seamless those kinds of conversations have popped off as of lately. I also feel like I joined this underground, unknown women power club where we acknowledge one another from across the room and give each other the nod of solidarity. It's f*cking beautiful. Likely, this is all in my head but perhaps there are just less walls surrounding me and my openness to people has become so real and so valuable that it's like I'm seeing who I really am, for the first time ever. 

Then, there are times when sh*t comes crashing to the floor. And, it's such a disastrous feeling, a defeated feeling. Working on JIG+SAW on a daily basis, I'm confronted with the understanding that people don't know my business and to not be offended when collaboration doesn't pop off in an instant. It's all been difficult to run + build this business, maintaining the blog (which ps. doing a terrible job) and managing client expectations to top it off. 

But I realize that this is all part of the journey. And, I'm learning to be okay with the imperfection at hand. I feel confident that this is where I'm supposed to be. Fingers crossed, you think so too. JIG+SAW will be a part of my success, this I know for sure. But, beyond that, my life is so much better than it ever had been. This is mostly in thanks to the people I surround myself with now, and dropped those who were irrelevant. 

So, in celebration of six months, I cheers you. Thanks for motivating my a$$ to get sh*t done. REAL TALK.

 

creation by me, image blends from tumblr + chapter friday

Christina Topacio

Los Angeles, CA

A life with style blog, dedicated to giving you direct sassness and satire, every week of the year.