HAIR + SEX

That tousled, tangled, textured beauteous hair - quite possibly my all-time favorite hairstyle above all other french braids, fishtails, donut buns and all that other garbage. But, there really is no other way to achieve such a look without actually participating in adult activities. 

Let's talk about it.

No amount of sea salt spray, hair glue, texturizer or homemade concoction can create hair made by the sexiest of touches. But not all of us can just hop into bed with a sexy lover... or can we? Now, if I had a choice, my tousled locks would always come from participation of a man's hands in my hair and all the things combined but alas, I wouldn't EVER work nor get anything done if that were the case.

So, you're probably wondering... how do you even proceed to get these locks? Here's my TOP 14.2 WAYS for getting those sexed up, volumized locks (not made for everyone):

photo by: emma jane kepley

photo by: emma jane kepley

- GO for a run
- Don't wash your hair, for days + a week
- Don't brush it
- Spray it with semen (i'm kidding)
- Play fight til' you sweat out your tight-ass curls (wtf shirley temple?)
- Hop in your rich friend's convertible with the top down and let that breeze f*ck your sh*t up
- Spray honey + water into your hair while you blow dry (SRSLY)
- Texas-style teasing, Dolly Parton style
- Rolling it like a blunt but with a scarf, while you sleep
- While making a margarita, add the extras to your scalp (lemon + salt + tequila)
- Go to bed wet... I'll wait
- Put a bandana on, like this, and get in a girl fight. That sh*t will get that GOOD GOOD
- Have sex. Obviously.

 

God, I'm such the beauty guru.

 

first photos pulled from Tumblr, mocked

Christina Topacio

Los Angeles, CA

A life with style blog, dedicated to giving you direct sassness and satire, every week of the year.