STORY OF MY LIFE

This weekend brought on some unanticipated quakes. I was driving along the highway with anticipation for what was ahead as well as thoughts from home that I brought on the road. With a mission to accomplish, those thoughts were shoved somewhere amongst the workflow and eventually threw up all over my brain post-weekend. I took a drive to clear thoughts; words from friends, my own internal battles, and stranger's responses were floating in my brain of which I had no idea how to piece together why they were all there. I was listening though; clear and open to whatever came at me. These verbal opportunities allowed me to see something I hadn't been able to see, not once, not ever. The question that began this post - what is my story?

You always hear that you should have a purpose for life - what is it we're here for? What do we want to accomplish before we leave? But are we really fulfilling that mission for our lives? I can tell you that I, quite randomly, realized I had not been fulfilling my purpose but rather, others' dreams, goals and wishes. And as fulfilling as that could be, I know I'm made for much more. I realized I had been putting myself in this box, because five years ago as WE all did, were this bunch - fashion bloggers through and through. But I wasn't made to be a fashion blogger, I wasn't made to talk about fashion nor style even though it's something I do genuinely love and appreciate. I was made for a different world, a box I do not fit into.

Sitting at a late lunch with my best friends, I listened to myself speak about how I wanted to be perceived, what I want to do with my life that makes a mark. And I sounded so sad and desperate, meek even. When did I become so helpless in fulfilling my personal mission? Waiting on someone else to help me as I help others is not how I was raised nor will I allow myself any longer to be that helpless.

Struggling with where I belong and fitting into a box, following the path of my peers always felt like the right place to be. But that thought on its own, caused me to question my story, my journey. What is this all for? When you ask yourself that question, you know you need some clarity. Taking a drive this weekend around the desert to clear my brain, recoup from the weekend and breathe in beauty, I found that clarity.

The story of my life is going to be special - I know it will be. My voice was made to move and change, made for larger spaces than just a digital environment. I'm deciding on a road I never traveled on; never understood the need for something new. I didn't know there was something outside my foreseen destiny. Sometimes it takes reflections, a drive and a clean mind to find something you never knew you were looking for. 

I challenge you to discover the story you're telling. Sometimes it takes the unforeseen to shake us, wake us up to ask the question:

what do you want to leave for the world?
photos by: @grantlegan

photos by: @grantlegan

Christina Topacio

Los Angeles, CA

A life with style blog, dedicated to giving you direct sassness and satire, every week of the year.