This has become my regular morning. I've needed a clear opportunity to breathe since lately, I've been drowning in the unnecessary. Heading straight out to the pavement, with a cluttered mind and an empty stomach, I return with a cleared, fulfilled breath of fresh air. And that's when healthy became the new mission.
In my 27 years of life, I've yet to take care of myself, like truly take care. I'd rather fall asleep with makeup on after just eaten a bag of muddy buddies and my clothes still on, to get in a full night's rest. The compromise, am I right? But, now living the 27th year on this planet, the time it could of taken to take off my makeup, eat an apple instead and put on proper sleeping attire, has now worn on my face, my body and my mind. It's exhausting. I look exhausted. And, who wants to look like that at 27 years old?
Being healthy is not a new mindset for me, as I've tried multiple ways of being fit, eating right and managing my stress. But, I'm never properly taken care of myself. I've never been proactive in actually taking care of this one body and one mind I live in. I've never been able to take responsibility and create a person I'm happy to be, rather than a person who's disappointed every four months after a new "initiative" hasn't worked. It's the most cumbersome feeling. And, as I lie in bed, at way too early o'clock, I'm realizing that the "taking care" part has to be a new mission and not a new initiative. You feel me?
So, back to pounding the pavement. The mornings are my quiet, effective time. It hasn't done much in terms of physical appearance but it gets my mind in a better space. I've been able to be at work and come home to work on my special projects without feeling overwhelmed or lacking enrichment. My mind had to become a top priority in order to work with top efficiency. And, I learned running allows me to start these days with a mission, a purpose and a strong sense of opportunity and achievement. GO FREAKING ME.
As far as my appearance goes, it's a heavy duty work in progress. I'm very much the impulsive person, reactive and emotional. When shit does down, I reach for comfort food. When I'm stressed, I sit in front of that 3x zoom mirror and pick away at my face until I bleed. When I'm bored, I stay on Vine or YouTube finding entertainment. When I'm bored, I also eat. So, I'm clearly choosing all the right opportunities for success, you see?
Look, all this is to say that for the amount of times you guys tell me you wish you could do what I do or be me or whatever, just know that this lady struggles more than she lets on. And, what I've learned is the mission needs to be out in the open, to be held accountable for my actions. You guys need to know my shit is not cute nor perfect. And, I try to make that apparent as possible as I'm personally offended by the amount of "perfect lives" some of these characters are playing in the digital space.
I want to do this together with you, hear your missions and what you're looking to accomplish for yourself. A great team is what every f*cking person on this planet needs and we're a team so use me in support. I got chu GORL.