This year, you guys, this YEAR.
Talk about the craziest year yet. I don't think I've ever been quite as tested and tried over the course of 12 months than I ever have, like this year. This year taught me incredible things about myself- how resilient I can be to circumstances I never thought existed. I wanted to reflect on a few great things that happened and a few not so great things. I want to be look back on this year as a success, as a guide for the new. Putting things out in the open makes them real, #amirite?
I consider myself a goal-getter. I love working for companies that strive for success in a new way. I love making cool shit happen, far beyond what I could even realize. This year marked the first year I committed my whole self to a company, of which I love and adore and filled with frustration all at the same time. I never thought I'd be one to commit longer than a year to any one company, as I love change + to move around to keep things exciting. But, making beautiful and amazing things happen allows me to see the beauty in committing to a company that works with me, rather than I work for them.
With that said, I get continuous questions on what I actually do for a living. Would you be interested in hearing what I do in a video perhaps?? LMK, because homegirl is READY.
But, something that I've yet to share, I'd like to share with you soon. I've been working on a project for the past 11 months that has everything to do with my career, and nothing at all. I can't wait to share that with you as it's going to change my life. Stay tuned. Just saying.
A goal I set this past January was to focus on the quality of my friendships, to listen and understand my friends and be there far beyond a text here and there or a lunch once a few months. This year, I focused on building my existing friendships to a stronger point, being honest and open, listening rather than telling and being present, despite how tired, irrational or emotional I feel. I also focused on my circle. As a kid, I desperately loved having a large number of friends. I needed to have every line filled out in my Lisa Frank/Hello Kitty address book, every year I was in school to address the fact that I had friends. But, that never really meant much. This year, that changed. I kept my close ones close, rather than maintain a hundred friends. I made traveling with my best friends a major priority as I ALWAYS opt out. It was such a great experience to travel with them, my closest. I needed to get away with them, learn about their grown up lives and have moments that I will cherish forever. I made a few new friends and they've become so close. I trust this small circle of friends with my everything - share all my secrets and all my fears, which was never something I would of done before. I feared rejection or judgement but this year was different. I allowed my vulnerability to shine, to allow trust to guide me and I'm so thankful for those that surround me and I around them.
MY LOVE LIFE
This is something I struggled with all year but was a massive piece to what made me realize something very important for my future.
First things first, moving back brought back a lot of memories. My ex and I connected since I moved back to a place where we were together, many years ago. It was nice to see someone who knew me and I honestly felt happy to connect with someone in a physical way that didn't cause harm to my feelings... Four months in, I found out he got someone pregnant. First sting of the year. Still getting over it.
Tinder happened, and happened a lot. I went on some silly dates, some worst than others. Most were pointless and silly reflections of the quality of Los Angeles men but there was one that sort of changed it all. I met someone who was simply, simple. He was honest, charming, so caring and sweet. He was naive but not in an immature way, just in a "life has been rough, so I only see this side" type naivety. He was compassionate to my feelings and worked so hard to bring down walls that have existed for YEARS. I'll be honest, I felt things about him that I hadn't felt in those YEARS that passed. I didn't share this of course, until it was already over. And, it was over because he was different of which reasons are his business and not anyone else's that I'd like to share. I won't forget how he helped me realize and actually share out loud, that I'm finally ready to be with someone, love someone, care about someone. I'm ready to allow feelings to be felt, rather than suppressed. I'm happy that I'm going into a new year with this knowledge, that I'm ready.
Traveling to Costa Rica, London, back to NYC, Palm Springs and home.
Planning, executing and trending BeautyCon LA + NYC, thanks to my incredible team.
Meeting JoJo, for obvious reasons.
Executing one of my dream campaigns for LACOSTE, a road trip to Coachella.
Going vegan for 20 days. Trying that again this coming year.
Watching my family grow and become cool people, my brother moving to LA.
Celebrating successes with all of my friends.
Pitching and winning awesome campaigns.
Taking meetings with big dogs.
Best friend moving to LA, a mile away from me.
Target runs and Topshop sprees.
Started my dream company's blueprints.
BeautyCon was front page of the Style section of the New York Times.
Mom came to visit me solo, best weekend ever.
Stay tuned for 2015's fortitude.