TWENTY-THIRTEEN FORTITUDE

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I'm not big on creating resolutions or goals for the New Year. For the most part, I break them, never remember them to practice them and fall short of resolving any issues I created the resolution for. So I thought for a moment, what I could do to motivate and push me this year. I want to become a woman of courage and bravery, wisdom and strength. This year will be dedicated to becoming the woman I want to be.

My fortitudes of 2013:

- COMMITMENT -

I have the biggest fear of commitment. I've had this blog for almost 5 years now, almost as long as my first real relationship, and it's so difficult for me to commit to posting, commit to promises, commit to writing. And truly, commit to myself. I have a commitment issue when it comes to men. I can hardly keep one around because I get bored or start finding things wrong with said male to avoid falling in love. I do it, every, single, time. It's getting old. I'm getting older. This year is going to be about making my promises to myself valid, dating men with more promise and more value and me not finding excuses or feeling bored. I want a steady, strong year. It starts with this.

-VENTURE-

I have a deep love for my neighborhood- so much so, I hardly leave it. That's going to change this year. It will officially be Year Two in June and I've yet to go to one museum, hardly explored Central Park or any park for that matter or even the New York Public Library. Can you see my dilemma? I want to stop squatting in my own neighborhood, there's so much New York has to offer and I find every excuse not to venture. That all changes this year. First up, the MoMA PS1. It's my backyard so that's something at least, right?

- LOVE -

I make every excuse in the world to not date someone seriously. I also find the worst in men because I'd rather be alone than fall in love and feel it alone. This year I want to REALLY open the door to let someone in. Also, no more wasteless dating. It's fun to go out, meet people and have some fun but it's been three years since I've been in love. I think it's about time I go for it again. All this is not to say that every man I meet needs to be top-notch and must be prepared to love me. HA. It's more to say if that person were to come around and it were to happen, I'd actually let it, this time.

- FINANCIALS -

When I moved here, I told myself, New York City is the land of no savings. We work to live. But I've had too many scares of having to move home that I've scared myself into learning how to save. Whether it's a Pippa doctor treatment, a repair for my laptop or a rent increase, I want to be prepared to have that savings to cover it. This year will be focused on living within my means. Truly.

- AMBITION -

I've always considered myself to be highly ambitious with a million things I want to accomplish and places I want to visit. Sometimes I get so caught up in my ambition, I lag. I don't want to turn 30 and have have accomplished anything because I was so caught up in my thoughts of ambition. This is, more or less, confusing to the outside perspective. But this is a tough one for me and this year, I want to focus on ACCOMPLISHING. Not just realizing my ambition.

- TIME -

I am known to rush things - to appointments, getting ready, driving, relationships, moving. For some reason, I rush everything. Probably why I'm so clumsy. But this is also how mistakes are made. If you rush a relationship and feelings, you could drive someone away. If you rush into making a decision, you could make the wrong one. If you rush around without thinking, you could ruin a great pair of shoes or break an arm. This also falls into the category of multi-tasking. So this year, I'm going to take the time things require. Relationships, walking to work, finishing a meal, playing a game. I don't want to rush, there's no where I need to be but in that moment anyway.

- SOCIAL DETACHMENT -

This one is a toughie. I work in social media so my whole life revolves around my laptop and my cell phone. All I do all day long is tweet, post, Instagram, search, scan, study, research and lastly, tweet again. I find myself checking my Instagram feed at the dinner table or during a conversation, pick up my phone and check Facebook. And before I go to bed, I Tumble at least 30-45 times to queue up a great feed on pointless imagery (albeit addicting). I find there's a live-person detachment and it's driving me insane. This year, I'm going to focus on turning off. This is hard because I also have a blog, a voice on my personal social channels. But during dinner, I want my attention to be on that person. When I'm in the shower, my phone stays in my room. When I go for a walk with Pippa, my phone stays home. And when I participate in sexual relations, best believe that phone stays far from my naked body. This year is about focusing on the present.

- ATTITUDE -

This one is easy- I want to smile more. People say I've got a great laugh so that's all. This year is focused on the good, the funny, the better things in life. Even if there's a stressful day at work. The brighter side is better.

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All this plus more will be done with courage, with bravery, with fortitude.

Happy 2013, yo.

Photo by: Sabrina Noel Hill