Who wants to hear a story?
This morning a friend of mine went into the men's restroom to "drain the snake" (seriously the grossest expression I've heard) and came out to tell me something. As it turns out, the above quote was written on the wall in the bathroom. As some of you may know, I've been having an extremely hard time here in New York- this year even, in its' 26 day glory, has been the roughest its' been in a while. You know when 'they' try to sugarcoat this wonder world called New York City? Yes, well, unless you have have rich parents who know everyone and their mother, came from money, happen to know the right people or are just simply outstanding on your own, then you're S.O.L. until you find your golden ticket. Let's just say Charlie's greedy ass stole mine and a couple others, little bastard. And with everything going on, all I want to do is drop it all and go back, open up a coffee shop and put on my Lululemon yoga pants. Yea, I said it. So what?
A few days ago, he told me that since nothing was going right in my career, I was looking for other things to fill the void- things I wouldn't normally go after if my career was in place. Although I didn't realize it, it was so true. I found myself talking about how I'm ready for a relationship, ready to start that journey again and albeit true, it's not what I moved to New York for. I thought I moved here for a career. But what I've realized is, I moved here to discover who I am and what I CAN do.
Anyway, back to the bathroom. So he comes and tells me what was written in the bathroom was a sign. That in the worst place possible, the wisest of words was written. He told me this with great confidence- he wasn't going to let me give up, even if he had to remind me everyday. Now, at first, I thought this kid was lying. So of course we took a stroll to the bathroom. Lo' and behold, it was. It caught me off guard a bit to really see the truth in all this. I'm not a believer in signs... until now. So what becomes of this, you might ask? Well...
I'm not going to give up even if New York kicks my ass on a daily basis. I'm here to find out what I'm capable of and who I want to be. I'll be turning 25 here- a big turning point. Who knows how long I'll be here or what I'm here to do. What I do know is WHILE I'm here, I'm going to make the best of it and discover everything I can about the person I'll be. My dreams are ever-evolving and that's exciting. I use to think having a clear-cut idea of what you'd do for the rest of your life and how you'd do it was the proper and right way to achieve success. I'm now learning that part of the journey is making changes, growing from trials and turning failures into successes. I really couldn't tell you if I'll be working in the fashion industry in 5 years or even two. But I'm excited for what's to come- whatever that may be.
THE DREAM IS NOT OVER
And that's when Christina stops being a gangsta.