Lately, I've been dealing with the overwhelming solicitous task of compromising. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind compromising but it's been a tough battle, especially when it comes to sacrificing beliefs I've had all my life. But how do we know how much we compromise and for who?
This new fellow is someone whom I connected with instantly in the strangest of circumstances. He is creative, well-versed, a true artist. I'm drawn to his openness, his willingness to speak creatively and his informality. His lifestyle is something I've never had to deal with before and have no idea how to handle. Not only that, but our connection happened unexpectedly. I'm not necessarily fresh out of my previous relationship, but I am still healing. I may be over my ex, but I'm still healing myself internally. This new fellow and I both didn't realize the chemistry we would feel instantly. Because of my past and his future, we both have things to compromise on. I never thought I would be making deals with half of the things he's said. I never thought I'd be ready to give my heart again. But you just can't plan for these things and you just have to let it happen.
What I'm trying to tell all my heartbroken, down and out, frustrated, hopeless, dying to love readers is that it gets better. One of my readers sent me the most heart crushing email about a guy she was with who left her suddenly because he wasn't "into her anymore". Later, the poor gal found that he couldn't compromise with her requests to be introduced to his friends and family. They were together three years and never met them. So, now she's left heartbroken and alone. I couldn't help but feel for her. Although my situation wasn't the same, I know what's like to feel like you aren't a priority and you have to compromise your entire self-worth to be with someone you loved. But I promise you, I really can promise you, there is an end to the darkness. We women, we are so vulnerable and want so badly for someone to see our worth. What truly needs to happen, is to find your worth first and the person who comes along and sees what you see and doesn't want to change it, is the person who will hold your heart with the utmost love.
I'm not saying I'll love this man, I'm not saying I'll be with him for a lifetime, for a year, for a month, for a week. What I am saying is that I've finally realized that I get to move on. I don't have to be stuck and I don't have to settle. There is someone out there who knows my worth and wants to let me know, every day. What his and I's future holds is irrelevant. We could stop talking tomorrow and I would still be happy. Why? Because I have reassurance in myself and that love is out there. I just, we just, have to let it happen. Don't compromise your heart, compromise with the person who holds it.