PROFRESH STYLE

the sh*t average bloggers don't talk about

LLL: REFLECTIONS AND DECISIONS

Now that fashion week has come and gone, I've had a chance to reflect.

If you happened to run into me during fashion week, during the conferences or during the parties, you may of heard me or I may of told you how I really felt about fashion week and bloggers attending. You may of heard me exclaim the annoyance I felt about the presence of bloggers and the circus it/they cultivate. I made claims of not wanting to be a part of that circus where we didn't belong, where we served no purpose and where we only added to the unnecessary commentary. But I've completely forgotten I used to be this person- I couldn't wait to attend fashion week, couldn't wait to wear all my exclamatory pieces, couldn't wait to stand in line for shows I wouldn't of ever attended without the blog- standing or not and I couldn't wait to see people I've admired my entire life. I've forgotten there's an innocence behind a showgoer. An innocence of being so excited to even get the opportunity to attend fashion week- not about being photographed or having the flyest outfit, it was purely about being at the coolest event of the season.

But after attending five seasons now, I suppose I've got jaded feelings- watching the attitude of fashion week change. Instead of feeling that aura of excitement and thrill of having the chance to attend, I feel like it's become this "who's who" and who's "upping" who. And I found myself more lost in that than in the fashion strutting down the runway. I've felt this overwhelming feeling of judgement- kind of like walking into a high school cafeteria being the new kid and everyone wants to throw all their shade on you. I used to look to fashion as my release- as my only outlet where I was understood and could be appreciated. Now it's become this attention-seeking fight for a shot from Tommy or Mark or Phil or any other street style photographer. But I, still, have to remind myself that, that was such a highlight if that happened to me. I remember being shot for Vogue China and literally, jumped for joy when I saw the photo. But after reflection, I realize first, the outfit was hysterical and second, did that photo give me any status, any change in traffic, any new street cred? Nope, absolutely not. So what is truly the point of standing in front of Lincoln Center if you've got no ultimate purpose to even enter the "tents"? Do you perhaps see where I'm coming from?

I'm not entirely sure where I stand with fashion, partially due to fashion week. I moved to NYC to pursue a life-long dream to work within the industry but I can't help but be persuaded to never want to enter a place like this. Fashion week certainly opened my eyes- to both the good and bad. It also opened my eyes to what kind of blogger I want to be. I want to be a blogger of substance, I want to contribute to a community who welcomes, not only a voice, but an opinionated voice. I want to have full-fledged substance and luckily for me, you readers absolutely get that. That's not to say I don't support my friends who are strictly fashion bloggers. In fact, I praise them for being able to maintain that and be extremely successful. There are moments I'm even envious of their success based off their style but I realize that there's no need for comparison. We're just two different kinds of bloggers.

I ran into a reader on Friday and spilled a bit of my thoughts on her. As much as I love fashion and expressing my style on the blog, I know there's so much more I have to offer. I won't be taking away the Moods/Style Shot posts as they are the foundation of which I started Profresh Style. But I will be transitioning into more writing and videos. I'm just not sure I want to be in a community where support is jaded and insufficient and full of fluff. And the ones who do support, seem to fade into the background and the voices get lost. I really hope that you readers follow along with this change. I'm searching for myself- what I believe in and what my purpose is. Profresh Style will always be a place of release and I hope you can enjoy and embrace this. I'll be taking a momentary break from PS to gather my thoughts and corral what I want to express here. I've got posts queued up for the week but for the rest of the month, I just need to gather.

I know there's questions about Reader Appreciation Month. Don't worry, I have all your (amazing!) submissions filed in my email. During this break, I'll be contacting you to see what we can work on. Some of your ideas are so awesome you guys! October is PS's THREE year anniversary so it will be a great time to have you guys on here. Just be patient and I'll be up soon. I promise.

One last thing- fashion isn't what keeps me here. Style isn't what keeps me here. My journey isn't what keeps me here. YOU are what keeps me going on PS. YOU keep me writing, hoping to inspire you to be you, hoping to captivate you and motivate you and hoping to change how you perceive life, even in the littlest ways. What started out as a fashion blog has turned into a love letter to my life and to sharing it with you. Thank you for letting me be honest, be heartfelt and be myself. I couldn't imagine it any other way.

All my love.